Twitterature SH
by whitchry9
Summary: Written for a prompt. Twitterature is composed of 20 tweets or less. Chapters each contain one episode, but are not in order. My *at* signs have been eaten, sorry about that.
1. ASIB

My at signs were murdered. Please forgive me. I'm no more pleased about it than you are. I've attempted to replace them with **a**

* * *

a**SH**

Seems someone had something better to do than kill us. Maybe next time? (ps in need of cases that do not involve cheating spouses or ash)

everyone It's not my hat.

Boring, obvious. Not even putting on pants for that case. Sent John with the laptop. #lessthanseven

Mycroft wasn't pleased with my choice of attire for the palace. John intervened. #whosmothernow?

Shut up John. Nobody cares that the queen reads your blog. #mineismuchbetteranyways

Note- don't make John angry. You don't like John when he's angry. (Very good at punching, despite his short stature.) #doctorANDsoldier

Noises are important. #thankgoditwasntababy

**a**JHWatson Vatican cameos! #itoldyouthrowingallthosedisheswouldpayoffoneday

I feel funny... dsfghjtsdlkzvvl;aeratogfdvm

**a**TheWhipHand Drugging people is not nice. Take note. Thanks for stopping by though. Love your addition.

Christmas is so full of family, joy, and happy people. I hate it.

Dead body for Christmas! It's shaping up to be a good day. XD #johnsaysitsinappropriatebutidontcare

I'm not moping John. I'm always like this. Shut up. Go out with your latest girlfriend. Oh wait. She dumped you. #shocker

Sometimes, when people look dead, they're not dead. Or, the dead person isn't the right dead person. #lifelessons

Do. Not. Touch. Mrs Hudson. It may be very well the last thing you do. But **a**DILestrade showed up so the... burglar was apprehended. Alive.

Someone's been sleeping in my bed... and she's still there! #noseriouslygetout #johnjustwashedthosesheets #andwillhavetoagain

Bond air... I knew I should have paid more attention to those movies John made me watch.

Novel. Suppose those body complaints were relevant, but oh so boring. #shutupfatcroft

I still won, in case anyone's interested. I'm sure John will write a dreadful blog post about it, in time.

**a**TheWhipHand _run_


	2. ASIP

**aSH**

Fresh bodies in the morgue. Time for experiments. #couldthedaygetanybetter?

Interesting soldier fellow. Leave him alone **a**TheBritishGovernment

Another suicide! WITH A NOTE! #daygotbetter #offtothecrimescene #takingmynewacquaintancewithme #hesadoctor

No one wants to hear from Anderson. Just fire him already **a**DILestrade.

Cardiff. Obvious. (What is it like in your funny little brains, it must be so boring.)

PINK.

Don't mind me, just digging through skips. Pink indeed. #livinthelife

**a**JHWatson Come at once if convenient. If convenient come all the same. #couldbedangerous #lollikethatwouldstopyou

Definitely a three patch day. #nosmokinginlondon #ugh #breathingisboring

**a**JHWatson If my archenemy has released you, I know a nice place for dinner. #notadate

Looks like a nice evening for a walk. Or run. Or chase across rooftops.

God Anderson, shut up. Your face is distracting, and I'm obviously not a psychopath. High functioning sociopath. #doyourresearch

**a**everyone Just get the hell out of the flat and go annoy someone else.

**a**JHWatson I'm off to... get some air. May not be back tonight.

**a**JHWatson Or at all.

Truly dizzying intellect. #makehimstoptalking #whereisjohn #dull

Cabbie and his wits were no match for me. Except he got shot before I could prove it. #winsomelosesome

I'm not in shock. But they keep throwing this stupid orange blanket on me.

**a**JHWatson Limp seems gone. Like I said. I bet you're a pretty good shot, right? I mean with a camera? #secrecy Dinner? #forrealthistime

Moriarty. Moriarty...


	3. TRF

**a**SH

While Moriarty seemed to be enormously successful in his crime spree, I'd like to remind everyone that he did indeed get caught.

It's times like these when I think the justice system should resort to different measures.

Don't you hate it when people come over, sit in your chair, and deface your apples? Or has that not happened to anyone? #meeither #ofcourse

Kidnapping! John says I shouldn't be so happy, but it is rather fascinating. But my face is not smiling. No smile here. #sciencetime

Yes **a**DILestrade, this is probably the only time I will ask you to get Anderson. #fatlotofgoodhewas #brilliantimpressionofanidiot

**a**Molly_H I don't look sad. Do I? #peoplesaystrangethings #youdontcount?

What a horrible story teller. There was no discernible plot, and the ending was rubbish. #jimsucks #nogoodatdrivingeither

**a**JHWatson Don't you see what's going on here?

Apparently being an annoying dick all the time is good for something.

**a**DILestrade Do you really have nothing better to do than harass citizens? I seem to recall a kidnapping & some murders you could look into.

Arrested. Dull. #timetogoonthelamb #johntoo #ofcourseitsagainstthelaw #johniswearsometimes

Just because we were handcuffed does not mean we held hands. They were picked right after we sat in the dark for hours waiting for **a**KittyR.

All that's left is... _oh. _#finalproblemindeed

**a**Molly_H You were wrong. You do count. #imonlygonnasaythisoncebutineedyourhelp

**a**JHWatson Friends protect people? #ifonlyyouknew...

There is nothing of note to see on the roof. Go about your business. #pissoff

I'm a fake. I invented Moriarty. It was all a lie. No one could be that clever. #magictrick

**a**JHWatson Please, just do this for me. Keep your eyes fixed on me. It's... my note. #thatswhatpeopledodontthey? #leaveanote?

Goodbye John.

JHWatson: **a**SH Nope. No one will ever convince me that you told me a lie. #ibelieveinsherlockholmes


	4. TGG

**a**SH

Grammar is important. Don't split your infinitives. #lookingatyoustartrek #johnmademewatchit #ugh

John took the gun away and left. Apparently shooting the wall is no good. Mrs Hudson agrees. #butitsmiles! #bored

If anyone wants to come over, there's a head in the fridge, but bring your coat, the windows blew out. #notmyfault #stillbored

Case! #butseriouslydoeseveryonereadjohnswebsite

I can't be the only one who gets bored. #thecurtainrises

**a**Molly_H Your boyfriend's gay. I mean, hey. #seriouslythough #hestuckhisnumberunderadish #totsgay

Carl Powers. I've been told saying 'I told you so' is frowned upon, but I really did. All those years ago.

Ian Monkford, relocated to South America. Dull. #challengenexttime?

I thought John looked quite good with the cat. Apparently he didn't agree. #nopetsatbakerstreet #killjoy

Connie Prince. It wasn't the cat (nice try John) but the houseboy. #botulismagain #stilldull

**a**JHWatson Heroes don't exist. And even if they did, I certainly wouldn't be one of them. #dontbesoshocked

Body on the beach. What a glorious day.

**a**DILestrade And a happy new year? Really? That was the best you could come up with? #wecanttakeyouplacesanymore

So apparently astronomy is somewhat important. #whocaresabouttheearthandthesunthough #teddybearandgarden

Of course I was following John this whole time. Not giving up a case just to spite Mycroft. #notthistimeanyway

If I'm not mistaken, the countdown from five generally goes five four three two one. Waiting on one. #boredagain

John got me into crap telly. It's all his fault. #obviouslynotthefather #jeans #idiots #allofyou

I'm waiting. And I brought a present.

John? #iwasnotexpectingthis

Well this is suspenseful. #someonedosomethingalready


	5. HOB

**aSH**

* * *

Note: cabs won't pick you up when carrying a harpoon and covered with blood. Even if the blood isn't yours. #learnedthatthehardway

I will make it worth your while if you bring me cigarettes. You just have to get them to me without John finding out. #desperate

On the case of a missing luminous rabbit. What is the world coming to. #bluebell #thisorcluedo

YES! Client! Off to Dartmoor. Later losers. #sherlockout

Off to the moors tonight to hunt a demon dog. Or something. But for now... #topsecretmilitarybase #investigatingitup

Mycroft is getting slow. #dontworry #didntkillanyone #orstealsecrets #justfoundinfoaboutarabbit

Of course I'm fine. I'm always fine. Why does everyone ask me if I'm fine? Leave me alone. SHUT UP JOHN. #maybenotfine

**a**DILestrade What the hell are you doing here? Did my brother send you? #imnotachild

**a**JHWatson Do you forgive me John? #imadecoffee #youlikecoffeedontyou #forgiveme #wehavemysteriestosolve

Off to Baskerville again. This time with permission. I hope there's nothing loose in the labs. #thatwouldbeunfortunate

Going to my mind palace. Get out. #hound #in #theressomething...

This case has been brilliant! (John informed me my timing was off, but Henry seemed okay with it.)

Sigh. The culprit is dead. I hate when that happens.

I only got it a little wrong. #notmyfault #iwasdruggedtoo

Friends don't drug friend's coffee and then perform experiments on them. #futurereference #socialskills


End file.
